2024 Mental Health Essay Contest Awardee: Bronze
Embracing Openness: Unveiling Silent Struggles Surrounding Mental Health
Kathryne, Maryland
“Have you guys ever been depressed?”
That day, we were fresh out of a Veterans Day assembly that focused on mental health, when one of my acquaintances abruptly approached our table, pouncing on us with that question. I glanced around, unsure of how to respond. There were a few headshakes, a couple of shrugs, and a single but unexpected nod—from Layla.
As second-generation Asian girls with common interests, Layla and I had grown close in the past few months. But as far as I knew, Layla’s existence had always screamed “perfection.” She was our school’s prized international chess champion. Yet how was it that, at our table, it was only she who’d admitted her struggles with mental health? She must’ve noticed our skeptical expressions because she smiled awkwardly before murmuring, “I wasn’t in the best state last year—I didn’t have the motivation to do anything, and I kept fighting with my parents because I’d just come home and sleep.”
After a moment of uncomfortable silence, I asked her the first question that popped into my mind, “Why didn’t you ever talk to your parents about how you felt?” I couldn’t bring myself to directly ask the question that lingered in the air: Why didn’t you tell your parents that you were depressed? Layla had raised an eyebrow, “You should know already. When have our Asian parents ever believed in mental health? They’d lose mianzi if their daughter went to therapy.”
Her words struck a chord within me. “Face,” or mianzi, was your dignity, your reputation, and your image. For our parents, who immigrated from countries like China, where their futures hinged on high-stakes exams, maintaining mianzi meant striving for unattainable perfection rooted in academic success. Consequently, they instilled in us a deep-seated need to excel. However, this relentless pursuit had detrimental effects on our mental health, exacerbated by parental views that mental health struggles were imperfections that brought shame to the family and jeopardized mianzi. Furthermore, filial piety, which emphasized unquestioning obedience and respect towards older generations, hindered us from expressing our concerns across generational gaps.
Yet, despite their lack of mental health support at home, I was surprised by how many of my fellow Asian American classmates did not seek help from our school counselors. I soon learned that a significant number of them perceived our counselors as untrustworthy. To determine if this issue was unique to my school, I reached out to friends attending other schools. Unexpectedly, many of them shared a similar sentiment as my classmates toward school counselors; they recounted anecdotes where their supposedly confidential conversations were shared with other faculty members. Their attitudes aligned with national statistics; a survey conducted and published in 2016 by the Journal of Adolescent Health revealed that 42.7% of its eighth-grade respondents lacked trust in counselors and doubted the confidentiality of their meetings.
To tackle this discrepancy in trust between students and school counselors, schools need to hold their counselors accountable for their actions. For instance, if a counselor leaks student information despite promoting privacy, the institution needs to enforce disciplinary action. Otherwise, the affected students will likely never trust the school’s mental health resources ever again. Additionally, schools should prioritize fostering intimate relationships between students and guidance counselors; research published in the Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal in 2018 demonstrated that students who trusted their counselors were more likely to seek their assistance. To facilitate this trust, regular interactions, such as small group sessions, between counselors and students will both strengthen relationships and create a safe space for open discussions surrounding mental health. For Asian American students particularly, lacking a personal relationship with their counselor leaves them isolated without support at home or school, leaving them especially vulnerable compared to the general student population.
Institutions also need to prioritize inclusive and adaptable mental health education for their student populations. The United States has long served as a melting pot, with its citizens originating from a variety of cultures; thus, we need to acknowledge the unique difficulties faced by each and every individual. For example, while my school organizes community days dedicated to supporting overall student mental health, they often overlook the specific difficulties experienced by different cultural communities. During these events, students are generally encouraged to involve their parents in mental health discussions, but for many Asian American students, there is an inherent stigma attached to openly expressing negative emotions. Rather than providing us with a one-size-fits-all approach, I hope that schools will take the initiative to offer us culturally sensitive resources that resonate with our respective cultural beliefs and community practices.
I believe in a day when homes across our nation will be filled with individuals like Layla who can safely share their deepest emotions with their parents, unburdened by a fear of indifference and humiliation. I believe in a day when I will be able to step through my front door and fearlessly unveil my academic struggles, knowing that my parents’ pride will never waver. I believe in a day when schools across the nation will stand as pillars of unwavering support, committed to providing diversified mental health resources that every student deserves. No one, regardless of their cultural heritage, should ever be eternally condemned to choke in the suffocating silence imposed by mental health stigma and the weight of societal expectations.
NIH recognizes these talented essay winners for their thoughtfulness and creativity in addressing youth mental health. These essays are written in the students' own words, are unedited, and do not necessarily represent the views of NIH, HHS, or the federal government.
Page published May 31, 2024
