2022 Mental Health Essay Contest Awardee: Silver

Hidden in the Cracks

Abigail, Maryland

I have always tried to be perfect. From the outside, it looked like I was cruising along on the road of life, hitting every green light with the rooftop down and the wind blowing in my hair. What everyone couldn’t see was that I was really driving with no control of the car, and was crashing and burning hard. I tried to focus on the road, but was drowning in thoughts of worry and perfectionism. When I was younger, I tried to deal with these thoughts on my own, but couldn’t shake the anxiety away. I would touch the shower curtain rod after I showered, thinking that if I didn’t, I’d have a heart attack. After I saw a video in Health class of a man choking on a piece of steak, I didn’t eat one for two years. Anxiety ruled my life, dictating my every move, but I was burdened with carrying the heaviness of that stress on my own, small shoulders. Thankfully, I was finally able to open up about it to my parents, and was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder about five years ago. I don’t deal with that same intense anxiety anymore, but I often do feel that I still fall apart behind closed doors. If I didn’t tell you about it, you would have no idea that I have anxiety and OCD. As a sophomore in high school, I play two sports, participate in two clubs, one of which I serve on the board for, am a member of the National English Honor Society, and take two AP classes and one GT class, all while working on fulfilling my Gold Award project for Girl Scouts, holding a part-time job, and maintaining a social life. I’m not touting this list to be arrogant. Rather, I hope to shine light on the fact that many young people with mental health issues such as anxiety aren’t always hyperventilating or rocking in a corner. Oftentimes, their anxiety is hidden in the cracks of their accomplishments. These kinds of accolades are put upon young people by society, who tell us that we can only be “successful”, “smart” , “athletic”, or “impressive” if we make the best team, get into the best school, and earn the best grades. Only when we can perform at the highest level do we get to call ourselves worthy. When people put these expectations in place, they’re only focusing on the destination. They fail to understand the struggles that define the road leading there, and how those real emotions have the ability to break down a person who is just trying to live up to the worthiness that society grants them only once that destination is reached.

To start destigmatizing mental health issues and build up young people, we need to take away the idea that they have to be perfect. If we don’t expect people to always be “one hundred percent” or “the best”, and if we don’t shame them for not being those things, they won’t feel the need to live up to those standards. No one can handle it all, and because no one can, there must be tools in place to ease their journey. Years of therapy have given me tools that have changed my life; I am beyond grateful for those, but it also makes me think about all the young people that don’t have access to mental health resources due to lack of money, education, or a support system, and how their lives differ drastically from mine. To solve this problem, we can start implementing plans in places that young people occupy, such as schools and sports teams. These plans would include education about mental illness and basic techniques that are learned in therapy such as deep breathing and mindfulness. In addition, resources for people to talk to would be provided, such as QR codes directing people to apps like Talkspace, where people can connect with a licensed therapist via their phone. School staff and coaches should be trained not only to look for warning signs of serious mental health issues, but for how to set their young people up for success when it comes to mental health. Take, for example, sports teams. If we treated mental health the same way that we treated injuries in sports, our society would be full of overall healthier young people. In sports, a trainer is a constant presence to assess injuries and take preventative measures to stop any injuries from occurring. There is always a medic on hand in the event that an emergency happens, and coaches make it a priority to ensure that their athletes are healthy. It is necessary for the athlete to prevent injuries and play to the best of their ability, and if they do get hurt, they must adequately recover in order to come back better. Since we pour so much into physical health, why can’t we provide the same energy to mental health, which is equally as imperative in making a young person healthy? Implementing mental health education for young people that goes beyond the standard “take a deep breath” is essential to the success of our future generations. In order to get students to talk more openly about mental health, schools should be given increased funding for on-hand counselors. It is important that students are given more time and access to these counselors during school hours to form close relationships so that the student can feel comfortable opening up about mental health struggles and therefore get the attention they deserve more easily. Whatever the end destination is, the road may be difficult, but it should never be unbearable. By integrating mental health education and access to resources into the aspects of society that we place the most focus on, young people will be equipped with the necessary tools to move confidently in the direction of their own success.

NIH recognizes these talented essay winners for their thoughtfulness and creativity in addressing youth mental health. These essays are written in the students' own words, are unedited, and do not necessarily represent the views of NIH, HHS, or the federal government.

Page updated September 20, 2022