2024 Mental Health Essay Contest Awardee: Gold

Exposing the Impact of Social Media on Teenage Mental Health: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Michaela, Maryland

High school began for me amid the pandemic. Like so many others, my mental health was affected. Virtual land became my reality. I turned to screens for connection. As a 14-year-old with a still-developing brain, my thoughts and feelings were ripe for programming. I experienced many ups and downs, like riding a roller coaster; only at every turn the pervasive influence of social media infected my psyche. Social media is a significant part of teenage experiences; scary to say, it became my life. Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat, the triad of our digital age, wished me good morning and bid me goodnight. I became infected with the “holy trinity” of body dysmorphia: obsessive mirror usage, unreal concern about a body part, and constant comparison syndrome. The digital forms of others and the carefully curated versions of myself, programmed me, leaving indelible marks on my mind.

It began innocently enough. A kid having a phone was not in my mom’s repertoire. She felt that kids didn’t need a phone. Mom set a “when you start high school” bar for the phone. As fate would have it, I had an overnight camp during middle school. Worried about me being alone, Mom caved. I got my phone. Everyone at camp had Snapchat, and asked for my “Snap.” Mom let me download it because she trusted me. I never gave her any reason not to trust me. I was a good girl.

Fast forward four years, and I’m still a good girl, but that person became buried under lies. Lies that were virtual aspects of me, through disappearing conversations, photos on the “for your eyes only” section, and perfectly angled poses. I needed those perfection posts as constant reinforcement of this idealized image I crafted. Sadly, even with these “perfect” photos, I obsessed about what I wasn’t. I felt less than because I didn’t have the “hourglass” shape. In reality, strangers would come up to me and ask me if I was a model. I have that body. Tall, lean, athletically fit. A model’s body that everyone wants. Ironic, isn’t it?

Consequently, the last four years of school, were heavily influenced by the digital demons to the point that I forgot who I was. My friends had to approve my posts. I couldn’t make a decision without them. I had to time posts so a friend could be “first” to comment. I compulsively bought fake “likes” to make me appear more popular.

In the throes of this virtual maelstrom, my family challenges reached a crescendo with the death of my dogs and my father’s life-threatening illness. Seeking solace, I unwittingly dove deeper into socials for escape, inadvertently exacerbating my mental health struggles.

Then a significant senior year victory occurred. I was offered a scholarship to play collegiate Division 1 soccer. The pressure may have been off for college, but my commitment post opened a wormhole for jealousy to take its aim. I expected friends to be excited. That was my first mistake, followed by more, including me taking almost every word they said personally. I accept responsibility. I took everything to heart and it hurt. In a seemingly innocuous incident where friends mocked a filter that was used on my photos, I hit my limit.

The curse became a blessing. The mocking lifted the veil of deception and became a catalyst for self-reflection and revelation: the constant drama fostered by social media was corroding my body, mind, and soul. I lost myself, the person who loved nature, the person who loved life and the person who loved freedom. It was time to reclaim my life.

I spontaneously decided to deactivate my Instagram.
I decided to pull away from toxicity.
I decided to find myself.
I felt liberated.
No, I do not regret it.

However, the aftermath was unexpected. Friends, dropped me. I was forwarded anonymous posts on an “extreme confessions” Instagram account. Those posts about me were degrading, offensive, and vile. I was shocked and confused, especially since the initial response about me deactivating social media was “good for you” and “I’ll do it with you.”

No one ever joined me. To the contrary, they stood against me.

Have you ever heard of “Crab Mentality” or the crab-bucket effect? It basically means, “If I can’t have it, you can’t either.” Crabs that try to climb out of the bucket are pulled back down by the others.

I felt like a crab.

But I decided to be THE crab that makes it out of the bucket before I was completely cooked like the rest.

How do we fix this? Or better yet, how do we prevent social media addiction? I have nieces who are nine and seven. I don’t want them or any children lured into the chaos.

Obviously, a supportive community is paramount. Implementing educational programs that promote media literacy, and coping mechanisms for teenage girls focusing on building self-esteem and embracing individuality. Additionally, requiring mental health classes incorporating mindfulness and breathwork techniques can help immensely.

To prevent addiction and brainwashing, social media should be treated like any dangerous substance. Longitudinal studies are needed to determine the ramifications social media use has on developing brains. Laws against underage (U18) usage should be enforced; if violated, parents are fined, or repeat offenders jailed. It could be the wake-up call needed. Typically, when presented with what “could happen,” parents don’t usually get the message until it’s too late. That being the case, let’s be smart about using technology, instead of it using us through brain hacking and notification dopamine hits. Everyone can stay connected through texting or a call, an app is not needed.

In conclusion, the journey to reclaiming mental health amidst the pressures of social media requires a collective effort. In the spirit of truth, however, it takes desire from the inflicted person to choose self-love and individuality. By fostering compassion, promoting confidence, and cultivating a support system, we can empower teenagers to break free from the shackles of unrealistic standards and embrace their inimitability.

NIH recognizes these talented essay winners for their thoughtfulness and creativity in addressing youth mental health. These essays are written in the students' own words, are unedited, and do not necessarily represent the views of NIH, HHS, or the federal government.

Page published May 31, 2024