2024 Mental Health Essay Contest Awardee: Silver

Learn to Live and Accept Your Journey

Paige, Texas

“I think so but I’m not for sure,” was a phrase I said on repeat for weeks in third grade. Little did I know that this phrase was actually a sign of my anxiety at a very early age. This phrase and other little nervous ticks I did when I was in elementary and middle school were picked up by my parents and teachers, but they never thought much of my ticks since I was still maturing. Fast forward to a couple of years ago, ninth grade, when I realized that I was a severely anxious person. These little ticks finally started to make sense as I started exploring my anxious tendencies further.

Ninth grade was full of several stressors for me: school, athletics, and friends. As we all know, the first year of high school is a big transition year for anyone and can be hard at times. This year was especially hard for me as I worked to battle my inner critic. I could never escape this little voice in my head; it was constantly judging me. I became hyper obsessed with my grades, which lead me into stress cycles that I could not escape. Each day I felt like I had fallen into a deep water well that I could not escape. This well appeared every time I took a test, quiz, or did an assignment worth a grade. I was mentally drowning, and I had no idea how to help myself. On top of academic stress, I felt constant pressure to succeed on the golf course while fitting in with my teammates.

Anyone that knew me always came up to me and asked me about how well golf was going, and I just couldn't take it anymore. Any time I made a bad shot I felt that I had let down my team, my parents, and other people who supported me. This weight on my shoulders kept growing and growing as we approached the state tournament. Luckily, I played well throughout the season and at these important tournaments, but it never came easily to me. Golf started to seem like a chore to me instead of a fun activity. On top of that my teammates talked behind my back, bullied me, and made a mean group chat that belittled me. This news came crashing down on me during the last week of school, finals’ week. I could not deal with this stress on top of everything else; I felt like a failure and a horrible person. Once I took the last final, I was so happy to get out of the school. Ninth grade had truly been a terrible year.

Between ninth and tenth grade my parents helped me seek out professional help as they could see that I was drowning in my anxiety. That summer was the best summer ever in hindsight because I got the help I so desperately needed. I started going to therapy sessions with my new therapist Kate, who seemed to understand me on levels I didn't even understand. These weekly sessions saved me. At first, I did not make much progress, but I kept getting better and better. Sophomore year was still emotionally hard, and I still worried a lot about grades, but I had learned ways to cope with it. Finally, after a full year of therapy sessions, I started to make serious progress.

This year, junior year, has not been as much of a struggle. I have been able to see the bigger picture of life, which helps me not stress as much after every little grade. I have been having the best year; I finally feel happy again. The weight has been lifted off of me and I have been able to escape the well.

High school has been a mental and emotional rollercoaster, but I am thankful for every single moment. Everything that has happened has made me mentally stronger. Without help from my peers, Kate, and my parents I have no idea where I’d be today. Therapy single handedly saved me and my mental health. For anyone struggling, I recommend reaching out because you never know how much you are struggling until you get the help you deserve.

NIH recognizes these talented essay winners for their thoughtfulness and creativity in addressing youth mental health. These essays are written in the students' own words, are unedited, and do not necessarily represent the views of NIH, HHS, or the federal government.

Page published May 31, 2024